Get all 4 Michael Arnzen releases available on Bandcamp and save 30%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of VAMPIRE STORIES: Michael Arnzen Live in Transylvania (May 2017), Attack of the Bleu Man Group: Expanded Digital EP, POEDOWN: Wytovich vs. Arnzen - Live at DV8 (2012), and Audiovile: The Expanded Digital Edition.
1. |
Psycho Hunter
03:38
|
|||
He’s a madman in plaid flannel.
They say he roams the forest,
bearded like Sasquatch,
still wearing his reflective safety vest and camouflaged cap.
They say you can recognize him
from the blood splatter on the plastic.
He moves from kill to kill,
feeding off the men he slays
and stealing their ammo for the next time.
The cops hunt the hunter,
but all they find are body parts
strewn in his wake.
Sometimes limbs smoldering in campfires.
Other times, heads
with gnawed necks
lopsided on the ground
with hollowed out holes
where he sucked the eyes
and tongue meat right out.
He’s a madman in plaid flannel.
During their nightly camps,
the posse trades rumors
about what might have
triggered the psycho hunter’s madness.
One sheriff speculates
that the crazy man plumb forgot
to bring his brain medication
with him to the woods—that simple.
Another ponders whether
he might be possessed by Indian spirits.
Another thinks
he’s the bastard son of the Son of Sam.
But I know the truth:
a bullet grazed his skull
and that was all it took
to set this guy off.
He’s a madman in plaid flannel.
And I know that as he tears through the flesh
of all these woodland campers,
the only thing he’s hunting for is me.
For revenge.
They say it’s not good sport to shoot a wounded animal,
unless you’re putting it out of its misery.
So I can’t wait until we find him.
He’s a madman in plaid flannel.
They say he roams the forest,
bearded like Sasquatch,
still wearing his reflective safety vest and camouflaged cap.
They say you can recognize him from the blood splatter on the plastic.
He’s a madman in plaid flannel.
|
||||
2. |
Obictionary
02:14
|
|||
3. |
In the Middle
03:11
|
|||
4. |
Domestic Fowl
05:36
|
|||
5. |
Dreamachinery
03:41
|
|||
6. |
Stabbing for Dummies
07:55
|
|||
7. |
Why Zombies Lumber
01:41
|
|||
There's a reason why zombies
drag their feet and it's not just
because they're dead and aimless.
It's not because they're still somewhat
human and want to give us a fighting
chance, or because they're low on food,
though they certainly are tired. The truth
is that brains don't matter that much—
they all taste the same and, like monkeys,
zombies know it's not worth all that effort
to crack the hairy coconut shells
for only so much magic milk.
They lumber and lunge like sleepwalkers
because they really just want to go back to bed
and let the worms do all the work.
The hunger breaks their slumber,
but it's not for the brains of the living they lumber.
They really just crave their dreams.
|
||||
8. |
The Cow Cafe
05:55
|
|||
9. |
Brain Candy
01:57
|
|||
10. |
||||
11. |
Take Out
01:41
|
|||
12. |
The Seven-Headed Beast
03:49
|
|||
13. |
Little Stocking Stuffers
01:53
|
|||
14. |
||||
15. |
A Donation
04:34
|
|||
This is my donation. To science.
I want to soak in formaldehyde for a few years.
I want to be cut up by practicing doctors,
then re-stitched and readied for the next class.
I want to be probed and poked and pointed at.
I want to be preserved.
I'm donating my body to science.
Why be buried or burned? Why frozen?
I want my organs exposed.
And I want to be able to feel it.
I want to be conscious
when they lower me into the preservative tank.
I want to feel fluids,
rushing into my eyes and ears and orifices.
I want to feel them coursing down my throat.
I want to feel it ballooning up my stomach and lungs.
I want to feel full of eternal life.
And you can feel me too. Forever.
I'm donating my body to science.
Why be thrown into a tomb
or shoved in an urn?
I don't want to be put in a vault
or buried at sea.
I want my organs exposed.
And I want to teach people a lesson.
With my smell.
I want to show people the real me.
I want them to get their hands wet
when they dig inside me.
I want to make people to laugh.
I want to make them gag.
I want to give people to have nightmares.
And I want people to be jealous.
I want them to wonder where the hell I am right now.
And I want to see the looks on their faces
when my skin is peeled back.
I want people to see me for what I really am.
I want people to see what they really are, and can be.
And I want to live on and on.
On and on --
groping inside of them --
on and on --
just like they grope inside of me,
searching
probing
groping.
This is my living dead will.
|
||||
16. |
Not the Reaper
02:29
|
|||
17. |
||||
18. |
||||
19. |
||||
20. |
||||
21. |
||||
22. |
||||
23. |
||||
24. |
||||
25. |
||||
26. |
||||
27. |
||||
28. |
Writhe [Bonus Track]
04:40
|
|||
29. |
||||
30. |
||||
31. |
||||
32. |
Michael Arnzen Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Winner of four Bram Stoker Awards in horror fiction & poetry.
"Arnzen doesn’t just read or recite
his stories; he shouts, snarls, whispers and groans his way through (and) adds music to the mix to create an aural landscape of terror like nothing you’ve heard before. Don’t miss this.” -- MicroHorror.com
VISIT AUDIBLE.COM for other horror audiobooks by Michael Arnzen.
... more
Streaming and Download help
Michael Arnzen recommends:
If you like Michael Arnzen, you may also like:
Bandcamp Daily your guide to the world of Bandcamp